I’ve offered my help to someone, but they don’t want to accept it
Introduction
Sometimes when we express concern, people don’t want to or are not ready to accept our help. If they say no when you offer help it could mean a few things:
- They may not believe there is a problem
- They may be worried that facing the problem will make it worse
- They may be concerned about other consequences
- They feel threatened or judged
- They are not comfortable opening up to you about the problem but might be more receptive to hearing it from someone else.
- The timing of your conversation is not right
What you can do
If you feel like your first attempt to discuss your concerns is unsuccessful and your gut tells you it’s not an emergency situation, there are several things you can do:
- Try offering alternatives – “I would feel so much better if you would agree to talk to someone else if I am not the right person for this.” And if the timing is off, you might offer to talk again, “if this isn’t a good time, I am open to talking about this when it’s good for you.”
- Offer to help them connect to professionals – health center, counseling services, doctor, or any other trusted counselor
- Urge them to talk to loved ones or family
- Tell them you will keep in touch about your concerns and that you will keep the lines of communication open, checking in regularly
It's time to get help when
If you are particularly concerned, your gut tells you not to “drop it” or if you feel that someone you know is in harm’s way, you should:
- Get advice about the situation from someone you trust – be specific about your concerns
- Tell an RA, teacher, counselor, parent, coach, or other trusted adult about your concerns and ask them to help
- Get help as soon as possible when a person is a danger to himself or others – this is serious and best handled by trained professionals such as emergency services, the counseling center, campus police, a family doctor, etc.
If someone is having an emergency and refuses help, take the situation very seriously and get yourself or them connected to help as soon as possible: call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text START to 741-741 or call 911.
Introduction
Sometimes when we express concern, people don’t want to or are not ready to accept our help. If they say no when you offer help it could mean a few things:
- They may not believe there is a problem
- They may be worried that facing the problem will make it worse
- They may be concerned about other consequences
- They feel threatened or judged
- They are not comfortable opening up to you about the problem but might be more receptive to hearing it from someone else.
- The timing of your conversation is not right
What you can do
If you feel like your first attempt to discuss your concerns is unsuccessful and your gut tells you it’s not an emergency situation, there are several things you can do:
- Try offering alternatives – “I would feel so much better if you would agree to talk to someone else if I am not the right person for this.” And if the timing is off, you might offer to talk again, “if this isn’t a good time, I am open to talking about this when it’s good for you.”
- Offer to help them connect to professionals – health center, counseling services, doctor, or any other trusted counselor
- Urge them to talk to loved ones or family
- Tell them you will keep in touch about your concerns and that you will keep the lines of communication open, checking in regularly
It's time to get help when
If you are particularly concerned, your gut tells you not to “drop it” or if you feel that someone you know is in harm’s way, you should:
- Get advice about the situation from someone you trust – be specific about your concerns
- Tell an RA, teacher, counselor, parent, coach, or other trusted adult about your concerns and ask them to help
- Get help as soon as possible when a person is a danger to himself or others – this is serious and best handled by trained professionals such as emergency services, the counseling center, campus police, a family doctor, etc.
If someone is having an emergency and refuses help, take the situation very seriously and get yourself or them connected to help as soon as possible: call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text START to 741-741 or call 911.